My guess is that you landed on my website because you are looking for some type of couples counseling or premarital counseling. I am so glad that you are reaching out for help and wanting to invest in your relationship.
Since I opened my practice in 2014, my schedule has been consistently filled with couples who are wanting the same as you—a better relationship. Seeing couples in long-term, weekly or bi-weekly counseling has been one way, but not the only way, in which I provide support to couples.
I often meet couples who are desperately wanting to learn QUICKLY how to make their relationship better. They want to know not what I think about their struggles, but what the science and the research says. They are literally hungry to understand what is happening between them. Understandably, without that objective understanding, partners get hopeless and are left alone thinking: “Am I losing my partner?”; “Am I good enough for him/her?”; “Are we no longer compatible?”; “What if he/she doesn’t love me anymore?”; “Should I just leave?”
This is where I can offer you an unconventional way of support—Couples Counseling Class (CCC)!
CCC is a one day, private course just for the two of you, and me—the therapist. It is an educational and experiential couples’ class that is based on the most empirically supported marriage model in the world—Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), pioneered by Dr. Sue Johnson and Less Greenberg and based on Dr. Johnsons’ latest work, Hold Me Tight. Research studies have found that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and 90 % show significant improvements through the use of EFT.
CCC is an excellent premarital counseling tool, as well as a great option for committed relationships of any length.
There are two reasons why I started offering this class. One, because we often don’t get an accurate education on how to be in relationships and how to make them successful. Usually, the only training on relationships that we get is from our primary caregivers, who got their training from their caregivers. The problem with this type of “generational” learning is that, sometimes even without us knowing, we perpetuate the same mistakes.
Also, what is fascinating to me is that we go to various work trainings and work conferences so that we can be better employees; however, we seldom go to trainings on how to be better partners. Why is that? At the end of the day, aren’t relationships with our loved ones the most important ones?
The second reason why I started offering this course is because I believe that the information offered in the class is a “prerequisite” to successful couples counseling. Often, couples who come to see me for counseling have been working with other therapists in the past, and they are left confused and frustrated thinking that they just need to communicate better. In CCC, I will be fully transparent and explicit with you about what is it that needs to be worked on in your relationship. Together, we will practice having some important conversations. I will share some funny stories with you from my own relationship and see if, together, we can help you and your partner feel closer.
What can you learn in CCC?
- You will learn about what gets in the way of your connection with your partner. I haven’t yet met a couple who wouldn’t get stuck in a vicious cycle. For example, vicious cycles happen when you say something (or even when you don’t say anything), your partner misunderstands you (or thinks that you don’t care anymore), and before you know it, the two of you are either arguing or silently withdrawing. Distance doesn’t get to be addressed and arguments don’t get to be repaired. That is the very environment in which vicious cycles thrive. This class will help you name your vicious cycle and practice talking about it so that you and your partner can fight off the cycle when it grabs you, versus fight each other.
- You will learn to understand what your fight with your partner is really about. CCC can help you understand that the content of the fight does not really matter (all couples disagree on topics, such as: communication, chores, sex, lack of sex, finances, kids, date nights and so on). You may ask: “If the content doesn’t matter, why do we fight anyway?” Great question, and we will spend a good chunk of time understanding the answer to it. If you are one of these couples who barely fights, you will also learn why that is, and how that can impact your relationship.
- You will learn how to start building a stronger connection between you and your partner. I often hear from couples that they feel like roommates with each other, and they start worrying that maybe they no longer love each other or that they are incompatible. During CCC, we will define what emotional connection is, practice ways in which you can build a stronger connection, AND we will talk about how to maintain the connection long term.
- You will learn some great nuggets about emotions, coping mechanisms, attachment needs, “codependency” and emotional intimacy. Unless we understand how we feel inside, we might not always know what we need. On the flip side, sometimes, we know exactly what we need, but we don’t know how to talk about these needs without pushing our partner away. This class can help you learn how to talk about things that matter so that you can start creating the emotional intimacy with your partner that will fuel your relationship.
How is CCC different from conventional Couples Counseling?
- In CCC, I will be leading the conversation and educating you.
- In CCC, we will not go into details about your past experiences or traumas.
- In CCC, we will spend about 40-50 minutes throughout the day PRACTICING NEW WAYS of sharing with each other versus talking about your old way of communicating that has proven not to work.
Why choose CCC over Couples Counseling?
- Because CCC can be less scary than Couples Counseling! I cannot tell you how often I meet with couples who should have started couples counseling years ago, but they were scared to do so (or just hesitant), so they waited until problems grew too big to tackle. If they knew about CCC, they would at least get enough information that would help them move in the right direction sooner.
- Because therapy is not for everyone, yet being educated and aware can be. Some people, once they learn the basics of how relationships work, gain so much awareness that they start creating a safe context for their relationship to grow. Some end up not needing weekly therapy! How cool is that? What if that is all that your relationship needs—a new way of looking at your relationship and a new way of taking care of your relationship, and each other.
- Because in CCC, we will cover some of the very same things that would be covered in conventional Couples Counseling, but we will do so in a direct and quick way.
Will I still need Couples Counseling after CCC?
I am not sure. However, what I am confident about is that you will get a clear sense of whether or not traditional couples counseling is something that will benefit the two of you. My hope is that if you decide to do couples counseling, you will have a new understanding of why the two of you are stuck and how to address it.
Here is what CCC will look like:
- The class starts at 9:00am, and it ends at 4:00pm with a 1 hour break for lunch (lunch is on your own). We will take short breaks in between.
- You will arrive 5-10 minutes before 9:00am to familiarize yourself with the space & get comfortable.
- If applicable, please make sure that your children or pets are taken care of until after dinner, in order to eliminate worrying about them.
- Get a good night of sleep the night prior, eat breakfast, and simply show up. No prep work, no expectations, just your presence and attention.
- After each of the didactic sections, you and your partner will talk to each other about what you are learning. There will be 2 main conversations throughout the day. You will have them in private, BUT if you want and need my help, I will be there every step of the way!
- I HIGHLY recommend that the two of you plan on having a dinner together after our class in order to “seal” and “solidify” the information learned throughout the day (and in order to add that “retreat” flavor to your day)!
Who is CCC NOT good for?
- Not good for couples who have an obvious lack of commitment to the growth of their relationship
- Not good for couples who experience active & current domestic violence in the relationship
- Not good for couples where partner(s) is/are involved in an active and current affair(s)
- Not good for coupes where partner(s) are actively using substances/are addicted/have a diagnosis of significant mental health problems
Who is the facilitator?
- I am a wife, sister, furry mom, therapist, and a supervisor passionate about bringing connection, strength, and vibrancy to couples and individuals
- Certified as a Therapist & Supervisor in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
- Approved Supervisor by American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT)
- Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Colorado (LMFT #1101)
- Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) Trained Therapist
- Member of International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT)
- Nominated as a Therapist of the Year, 2016
- Director & Owner of Vibrant Couples and Individual Therapy, LLC
CCC Registration Form
- 9:00am to 4:00pm (All classes are offered on Fridays. PLEASE call or email me to schedule, PRIOR to registering for the class)
- Location Option #1: 1333 W. 120th Ave. #222 Westminster, CO 80234
- Location Option #2: Online (PLEASE call or email me to discuss which location option you prefer)
CCC Registration: Please complete following form to secure your spot.