Offered for Groups & Private Couples
- Are you confused about why you and your partner keep fighting about the same thing?
- Are you seeking closeness & security in your relationship?
- Are you worried about losing connection with your partner?
- Do you want improved communication and less conflict?
- Do you find yourself getting stuck and feeling distant?
- Would you like more intimacy with your partner?
- Is one of you is thinking: “YOU MUST GO WITH ME TO LEARN HOW TO BE A BETTER PARTNER” and the other one is thinking: “I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE! YOU ARE THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO FIGURE IT OUT!”? If so, than this class is for you!
If you answered ‘yes’ to one of these questions, keep reading. As a wife, daughter, sister, and a friend I know that being in a relationship is not easy, and it requires work. But, often, when I come back home exhausted after work, the last thing I want is do more work around my relationships—usually the relationship with my husband takes the brunt of it! All I want to do is check out to electronic screens or do my yoga—after all, don’t I deserve that time for myself?
I can so easily convince myself (and even my husband!) that it is okay to just zone out. It is okay, BUT only sometimes and not habitually. The problem starts when the “zoning out,” “working late” and “making excuses that this is only a difficult phase in our life because of kids or career pursuits” becomes the new norm.
Before we know it, we don’t know HOW to BE together anymore and we fight about the smallest things. When that happens, couples usually say to me that they start questioning if they are compatible, if they are “falling out of love,” or if their partner has just changed too much. One partner usually says “If only you change how you interact with our kids…or if you only spent more time at home…. or if you only were more affectionate and nicer to me.” While the other partner usually says “If you only stopped complaining and nagging all the time…if you only appreciated me more…. if you only saw how hard I am working to support us.” What usually happens after one of these types of conversations is that a couple comes up with yet another idea of how to divide the chores or “ how to be nicer to each other”, OR the conversation gets dropped and the couple goes about their day as if nothing happened. Until the next time, when this cycle repeats and the very same fight occurs again.
That is where a class like this can help. It can help you understand what is the fight really about, and why does it come up (either explicitly or implicitly) over and over again. The training like this can help you understand that the content of the fight does not really matter (all couples disagree on usually these following topics: communication, chores, sex, lack of sex, finances, kids, date nights and so on). In fact, you will learn what actually does matter the most…. AND more effective communication IS actually NOT what matters the most.
Relationship 101 Class is an educational and experiential one-day couple’s retreat with the most empirically supported marriage model in the world, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). EFT was pioneered by Dr. Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg, and outlined in Dr. Johnson’s latest work, Hold Me Tight. Research studies have found that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and 90% show significant improvements through the use of EFT.
You might still be thinking…but WHY? Why should I spend the whole day learning about how relationships work?
Let me ask you this: When did you last go to a work training? Last week, last month, maybe even last year? Well, when did you last do a training on how to be in a satisfying relationship? When did you last learn about what is love and what makes love work and what doesn’t? Usually, the only training on relationships that we get is from our primary caregivers who got their training from their caregivers. The problem with this type of “generational” learning is that we either learn how to perpetuate the same mistakes or we learn how not to have relationships like our parents. In neither case we get the RELEVANT, RESEARCH BASED, CLINICLALY PROVEN data on what makes the relationship work and what doesn’t.
The class that I am offering for couples is based on the new science of love and the wisdom of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT), an effective model developed by Dr. Sue Johnson. Dr. Johnson’s book, Hold Me Tight, is now in its 10th year of publication and has sold over half a million copies worldwide. This book offers a revolutionary new way to see and shape love relationships.
You might ask: But why should I do a class instead of attending weekly therapy?
Great question. If you ask me, I am a big fan of therapy! AND:
- Therapy can be too much for some. I cannot tell how often I meet with couples who feel horrible because they are in “couples therapy.” Usually, at least one partner feels like there is something wrong with them, and they need to be “fixed” in therapy. Well, what if I told you that this class will help you understand not only why you feel this way, but also that there is nothing wrong with you? All that is missing is the information about HOW relationships work and HOW they fall apart.
- If one of you is thinking: “YOU MUST GO WITH ME TO LEARN HOW TO BE A BETTER PARTNER” and the other one is thinking: “I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO FIGURE IT OUT!” then this class is for you!
- Think of it as Relationship/Love 101 class that was never been offered when you were in school, and now, it is your opportunity to take it.
- Therapy can be a drawn out process—IF you are lucky you will see your couples therapist weekly, at the very same time when you both are off work and the kids are with the grandparents. UNFORTUNATELY, we are all busy and that type of scenario is rare!
- Doing a one-day class (group or private class) is much easier to schedule and plan for. Six hours of this training is equivalent of 6 – 8 hours of therapy that you would normally do over 6 – 8 weeks, ONLY if you are lucky enough to coordinate all of you schedules, and only if life doesn’t throw you a curve ball where your kid gets sick or your boss asks you to stay longer…and you have to miss your session.
- Therapy is not for everyone. Some people, once they learn the basics of how relationships work, gain so much awareness that they start creating a safe context for their relationship to grow. Some, end up not needing weekly therapy! Now, how cool is that? What if that is all that your relationship needs—A NEW WAY OF LOOKING AT IT, A NEW, SAFE CONTEXT TO IMPLEMENT CHANGES, and A NEW WAY OF TAKING CARE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
- Others, learn through this class that weekly therapy IS what is needed, but, hopefully, after taking this class, they BOTH are on the same page about it.
- SO, after the 6 hours of training, most likely, you will decide TOGETHER whether or not you actually need couples therapy (That sounds like a better alternative to me than “forcing” one of the partners to do couples therapy!) AND you will have a new understanding about what has to be “fixed.”
I don’t feel comfortable with groups. Can I do this class privately only with the therapist?
ABSOLUTELY! There are advantages and disadvantages to both.
The main advantage of doing this class with a group is that your experience will get normalized as you hear other peoples’ experiences being very similar.
The main advantage of doing this class alone, only with me as your trainer, is that you get my full attention, and it does have that “therapy” feel to it even though it is NOT A THERAPY, it is a CLASS.
What will we learn? Here are some of the objectives:
- You get to learn the basis of why couples fight (if you are one of these couples who “never fight” you will learn WHY)
- You will learn how to build a stronger connection between you and your partner (During this class, you will practice having 3 Conversations with your partner and either start building a stronger connection right away OR learn what gets in the way of that connection)
- You get to learn the common language of your primary emotional experiences & needs
- You get to identify your own cycle of negative interactions and learn what to do about it
- You get learn about dependency and “codependency”
- You get to learn what LOVE is and how to keep it strong
- You get to laugh together, and refocus your attention on the two of you!
Here is what this will look like:
- The class is from 9:00am until 4:00pm with 1 hour break for lunch (lunch is on your own). We will take short breaks in between.
- You will arrive 5-10 minutes before 9:00am to familiarize yourself with the space & get comfortable.
- If applicable, please make sure that your kids or pets are taken care of until after dinner, in order to eliminate worrying about them.
- Get a good night of sleep, breakfast, and simply show up. No prep work, no expectations, just your presence and attention.
- After each of the didactic sections, you and your partner will talk to each other about what you are learning. There will be 3 main Conversations throughout the day. You will have them in private, BUT if you want and need my help, I will help you every step of the way!
- I HIGHLY recommend that the two of you plan on having a dinner together after our class in order to “seal” and “solidify” the information learned thorough the day (and in order to add that “retreat” flavor to your day)!
Who is this training NOT good for?
- Not good for couples who have an obvious lack of commitment to the growth of their relationship
- Not good for couples who have evidence of extensive and/or long-standing relationship distress and would be better served by seeking out a couple therapist, rather than engaging in an educational program
- Not good for couples who experience active & current domestic violence in the relationship
- Not good for couples where partner(s) is/are involved in an active and current affair(s)
- Not good for coupes where partner(s) are actively using substances/are addicted/have diagnosis of significant mental health problems
Who is the facilitator?
- I am a wife, sister, furry mom, therapist, and a supervisor passionate about bringing connection, strength, and vibrancy to couples and individuals
- Certified as a Therapist & Supervisor in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
- Approved Supervisor by American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT)
- Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Colorado (LMFT #1101)
- Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) Trained Therapist
- Member of International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT)
- Nominated as a Therapist of the Year, 2016
- Director & Owner of Vibrant Couples and Individual Therapy, LLC
Relationship 101 Class Registration Form
- 9:00am to 4:00pm (All classes are offered on Fridays. PLEASE call or email me to schedule, PRIOR to registering for the class)
- Location: 1333 W. 120th Ave. #222 Westminster, CO 80234
- Light snacks and drinks will be provided
Relationship 101 Class Registration: Please complete following form to secure your spot.