Why Should I Choose a Trained Emotionally Focused Therapist Over Another Marriage Counselor?
Therapists who are either certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) or work towards certification consistently show commitment to high quality couples therapy work. These therapists continuously invest in ongoing supervision and consultation with the world’s best EFT therapists. Providing superior couples therapy work requires hours of trainings and supervisions, watching tapes of couples’ sessions, and constant practice, along with the willingness to challenge yourself in order to deliver the best service for couples. EFT trained therapists do just that.
What Happens in an EFT Session?
During therapy sessions, I help you recognize the type of painful and ineffective negative cycle that causes you to get stuck in an argument with you partner and leaves you feeling angry, hurt, rejected and alone. We work on slowing down your regular patterns of interaction enough so that you can discover what the fight is really about. We practice recognizing how your emotional responses, while understandable, may be perpetuating a negative cycle.
Once we slow things down enough, I will help you experience your partner in a different way—maybe the way that made you first fall in love with him/her. Finally, we start creating a new, positive cycle that will ensure safety in your relationship and further help you in times of stress.
During our sessions, we will address the fundamental need for connection and the fear of losing each other. We will build the safety and trust in your relationship that is so needed for your physical and mental health. Once you start feeling emotionally safer with your partner, talking about in-laws, money, sex, or kids will not be as threatening.
Will You Always See Us As A Couple Or Will You Ever See Us Individually?
During our first session, we meet all together. After that initial session, we will schedule one 90-minute session during which I will see each of you individually for about 45 minutes. During our following sessions you will meet with me as a couple, unless I advise otherwise. If appropriate, I may refer one or both of you to individual therapists.
What Happens If We Fight During The Session?
When you work with me, I won’t let you fight in my sessions. I put all of my effort into tuning in and truly listening to both of you. At the same time however, I want to keep you safe and us on track, so I will take an active stand and interrupt you if needed. I help you stay away from the content issues so that we can focus on the emotions that fuel your repetitive arguments, frustration, and alienation.
How Often Should We Come To Therapy?
Frequency of your therapy sessions is in your hands. However, especially at the beginning of treatment, I recommend that couples come in weekly for at least 8 – 10 sessions. By doing so, we are able to “catch the momentum” and dive more quickly into the issues that cause the most distress in your relationship. Later on, depending on how much support you need, we can see each other every other week or even once a month.
We Have Been In Couples Therapy Before, We Felt Like The Therapist Was Taking Sides. What If That Happens Again?
If one of you starts to feel that I am taking sides, I am not doing my job well. I work really hard so that both of you feel that I do understand your experiences. However, couples therapy is a tricky business, and if you ever feel that I am taking sides, the sooner I know about that, the sooner I can take action. This is your treatment and I need your feedback to serve you better.
How Do I Get Started?
Contact me today via phone or via email. We’ll talk about your relationship, types of problems that you are experiencing, our schedule availabilities and the fees. I will answer any questions that you have about starting counseling. We will also decide if we are the right fit for each other. If I’m not the best therapist for you, I’m happy to help you find one who is. This is your therapy and you want to find a therapist who “clicks” with you.